Deep Dark Secret
by Haruka-Chan 212
Summary: FINISHED Haruka's got a secret and Michiru finds out about it, will she keep it quiet? As I had said I revised ALL the chapters, they're all longer and a little bit different, so so sorry it took me so long to get this updated.
1.

I wanna thank HappyNoodleGirl for her help in revising this and making it sound a lot better, and making it longer :huggles: Love ya girl...I hope this sounds better then it did before, review it and tell me how you like it now, and what you would change about it.  
  
Deep Dark Secret  
Chapter 1 - What's Wrong?  
  
She tried to be happy. She wanted to stop the suffering that she seemed to put herself and everyone through.  
  
Her life had been a living hell, nothing seemed to go right for her. Her home life was horrible, she never got along with her father, and her father beat her on a regular basis. She wasn't very open to people in school, she had very few friends, only a few people were able to stand her. She slowly but surely let her depression consume her. She didn't bother fighting it. She didn't tell anyone, she figured that it was better if she didn't.  
  
She was 16 years of age and in the 11th grade. She had very few friends, most of the people at her school were afraid of her anger. They were afraid of the way she lived her life. She wore the male version of the school uniform, she was obviously a lesbian, she didn't try to hide it. And that fact bothered most of the people in her classes and school. That only made things worse for her, depression wise.  
  
"Haruka!" came an adult voice, breaking through her thoughts. "Haruka, my math class is in here."  
  
She hated her math teacher, he was nothing more then a prick in her eyes. And he hated her. He made the class harder on her then he did anyone else. At least that's how it seemed to her. She did all of her work, but it never seemed to be enough to get a passing grade.  
  
Haruka looked back up at her teacher and also realized that she was being stared at. She felt heat rise to her neck and face. She continued sitting there in silence and listened as her teacher moved on with the lesson...  
  
  
  
"What was wrong in class today? You usually pay attention and do all your work." Michiru, her fellow classmate, and long time best friend, caught up with her on their way to lunch.  
  
"Nothing. I'm just not feeling well today." she closed her locker and was sure to straighten out her jacket sleeve.  
  
Michiru noticed this, but had said nothing. She had noticed it several times in the past. Maybe she should finally ask her about it, she's starting to get worried. "You know what, you and I have to talk." she wanted to know what Haruka was hiding from her. "Let's go to the library and talk, I'm not really hungry today."  
  
They entered the library, which was unusually empty. The book worms always seemed to be taking all the good seats, and the tables. Luckily, the far back table was clear.  
  
They sat at the table, Michiru was across from Haruka and started the conversation. "Ok, talk." she said loud enough for Haruka to hear, but soft enough to where no one else did.  
  
She turned away, hiding any feelings that may have been showing through that mask that covered her depression. "Talk about what?"  
  
Michiru turned Haruka's face toward hers, looking her in the eyes. "Show me your arms."  
  
"Why?" Her tone was cold, and distant.  
  
Michiru found herself grabbing Haruka's arms and rolling up the sleeves. She was in shock of what she found, scars and fresh cuts covered her flesh. She gently ran her fingers over the cuts and looked at Haruka in shock. "Why didn't you tell me?"  
  
Nothing escaped her lips, she was purposefully staying quiet. The only thing that she really feared was someone finging out and talking about it to a teacher, or friend, then having it all over the school, and then it getting back to her father. She may have said that she hated her father. She had good reason too, he beat her ever since she was young. Whenever she did something that he didn't like, or wasn't to his expectation, he would beat her, and tell her to do it again.  
  
Haruka was brought out of her day dream when she felt someone tug on her hand.  
  
"Haruka...Haruka...Hey, snap out of it!" Michiru was staring at her, trying to find out what was wrong, and making sure that she was alright. "Come with me."  
  
Michiru stood and drug Haruka toward the door. It was time for her to do something about it before it got too far out of hand. Or before Haruka hurt herself. What if the blade slipped and she cut a vein, the bleeding wouldn't be able to stop and something horrible would happen. That's something that Michiru didn't want to happen.  
  
Haruka planted both her feet firmly on the ground, refusing to take another step. "I'm not going anywhere. You just want me to tell them, I'm not telling anyone, and you have to promise not to tell anyone, this can't get back to my father. He'll kill me, I know he will."  
  
"Haruka...." 


	2. 

Deep Dark Secret  
Chapter 2 - Her Problem  
  
"Promise me Michiru!!" Haruka's voice was more stern, and a bit louder this time.  
  
Michiru looked down at the ground, unable to force herself to look at her best friend. "I promise." she would have done or said anything to stay one of this girl's only friends. She needed her, she felt that she was the only one that she could   
be herself with. "The bell's about to ring in a few minutes, why don't we go ahead and leave?" shock of the sights on her arms was still registering in her mind. She was afraid that her friend would do something to seriously hurt herself, or possibly worse...  
  
  
The rest of the day, thoughts of Haruka's arms, the pain that she must have been feeling, it was eating away at Michiru. She wanted to scream out that she loved Haruka. That Haruka was her best friend. That she cared about Haruka. That she didn't want anything to happen to Haruka. Yet, she stayed quiet. She didn't want to lose her friendship with her. To Michiru, friendship was more important than anything in the world. And without Haruka's friendship she wouldn't know what she would do.  
  
"Michiru." she heard her name whispered from behind her.  
  
She looked up to make sure the teacher was facing the board before she turned around.  
  
"It's from Haruka." the famale student behind her handed her a note.  
  
"Thanks." she took the note and quickly turned around in her seat before she was yelled at by her cranky teacher. Hiding the letter under the desk, she slowly unfolded it, trying not to make too much noise.  
  
  
Michiru,  
  
Let me explain. Well, I can't really explain why I cut. But I do. I make at least one cut a night. If I get yelled at by my dad, it's sometimes two or three, four of five cuts. The most I've made at one time was 15. They were all small and deep. I make them all small, that way they can be easily hidden.  
  
You see, my feelings are messed up. I'm just so confused. I don't care how much suffering I cause everyone, as long as I satisfy myself, and ease my own pain and release anguish. Now that you know, I don't care how much suffering I cause to you.  
  
As you and the rest of this god forsaken school know, I'm a lesbian. I just wanted you to know that...I love you. And I know that it is beyond hope to even imagine you feeling the same for me, but I just had to let you know, I couldn't keep it inside any longer  
  
Haruka  
  
  
Michiru folded the letter in half and ran out of the room, silent tears streaming down her face. Those who had passed the letter from one side of the room to the other looked at Haruka.  
  
"Dammit." she mumbled to herself, loud enough for some to hear. Heads snapped to look at the angry girl as she stood from her seat at the back table and followed Michiru's lead, ignoring the teacher's question, and glares from other students.  
  
Memories flooded into Michiru's head as she slid down to the floor against one of the lockers, crying. Crying over what the letter said. Crying over the fact that Haruka didn't care. And crying because Haruka loved her. Haruka was so confusing. But she still didn't understand her feelings for Haruka so she cryed because Haruka loved her and she didn't know what to make of it.   
  
She was remembering all the good times they had together. When they were younger they would spend the night at each other's homes. They would always be in the same classes. They spent nearly every waking moment in the presence of the other. They were as close as sisters, now all of that has changed by just three simple words: I love you. How is that possible? How can three simple words alter such a strong relationship of friends. What would become of them now?  
  
Then, two years ago, Haruka started becoming distant. She kept herself in the house more. She always said that she was sick so she wouldn't have to go out somewhere. The few times that Michiru was able to get her out, she noticed that she paid special attention to keeping her jacket sleeves at her wrist. She made the mistake of not pushing it. Of not finding out what was wrong. And now, after seeing the condition of her arms, she thought that it was possibly too late to get Haruka any help.  
  
Now, now it was too late. It seemed as if Haruka was beyond her own self control, beyond any form of help. Perhaps she wasn't, if Haruka wanted the help, it would take effect. If she was getting it just because of Michiru, it wouldn't work.  
  
"Michiru...Hey, are you ok?" she heard Haruka's voise and felt her shoulders being shaken. "I'm sorry, I said to much in the letter. Come on, lets go up to guidence. You've got to calm down." she helped her into a standing position and lead her down the hallway with a comforting arm around her shoulder.  
  
"Will you talk to him about your cutting?" she asked and waited for a responce. 


	3. 

Deep Dark Secret  
Chapter 3 - Tell? or not?  
  
Haruka stopped dead in her tracks, as she had done earlier that same day in the library. "This is what I was afraid of. You or someone else finding out, and then pushing me to tell someone, or just going ahead and doing it yourself. I'm actually glad, in a way, that it was you. I know you're promise to me, I know you'll stay true to your word."  
  
Michiru looked down to the floor. She didn't wanted to keep her promise to this girl, but she didn't want to risk losing her friendship either. She knew that she had feelings for her, but she just didn't know how to show it, or how to say the words. The three simple words that meant everything to every couple in the world 'I love you' she just didn't know how to say it to Haruka. Maybe sometime in the future she can show that she loves her. But not yet.  
  
"I'm not ready for anyone to know. Not yet." she gave her friend a hug before opening the door for them to enter the guidence office...  
  
  
  
Two hours later, nothing was said about Haruka's arms. The bell had rung, signaling for the students to go home. Michiru knew that she would miss her bus, and Haruka caught this as well.   
  
"Would you like a ride home?" she offers as they walked back to their lockers.  
  
Michiru only nodded. She knew that she loved this tall, sandy haired, teal eyed, athletic women, but she didn't know how to show affection. She felt as if she would be rejected by the friends that she had. They already hated the fact that she was friends with a 'lesbo'. Michiru was grateful that they didn't know she was one as well, Haruka didn't even know, nobody did, she was good at hiding any sexual attractions toward females.  
  
"Earth to Michiru...Come in Miss Neptune" she pauses, waiting for her to wake up "...there you are, what happened?" She found herself shaking the smaller one's shoulders.   
  
"I'm sorry, I just kinda spaced out there for a moment..." She paused. "What did you ask me?"  
  
Haruka smiles and lets out a small laugh. "Would you like a ride home?"  
  
She smiles up at her. "Sure, I'd like that, thank you."  
  
Quickly they got their books out of their lockers and made their way out of the school, toward the student parking lot. Haruka dug her keys out of her pocket and stoped beside a yellow sports car, she chuckled some when she saw Michiru's jaw hit the concrete.  
  
"Wow."   
  
"I know, I'm a spoiled little rich kid." she motioned toward herself. " Only this rich kid's life isn't perfect, remember that." She climbed in and unlocked the passenger door for her friend to get in.  
  
They both hooked their seat belts and Haruka drove out of the parking lot, following Michiru's directions to her house. It had been a while since Haruka had been there, and she only wanted to make sure she was going the right way. The drive there had been in complete silence, Michiru figuring out what she would say, and Haruka waiting for her to say something. Within ten minutes, they came to a stop in front of a large hill side home.   
  
Michiru grabbed her books off the floor and, with all the courage she had ever drawn at one time, she leaned close to Haruka. Her lips meeting hers softly, allowing her the chance to easily pull away if she wanted.   
  
After pulling away, she quickly exits the car and runs into the house, leaving Haruka looking in shock.  
  
"Michiru...?" 


	4. 

Deep Dark Secret  
Chapter 4 - Confrontation  
  
The next two days in school, neither or them shared a glance. On the Friday of that same week, Haruka couldn't take it anymore. So that day, before on the way to lunch, She laid in waiting in the bathroom by the main office, that was hardly ever used. And when Michiru walked by she took a hold of her wrist and drug her into the bathroom.  
  
After she checked to make sure that nobody was in there, or heading toward the bathroom. Haruka kissed her, full on the lips. She was still trying to make since of the thoughts in her head. And Michiru wasn't having much like in the same department, still making since of the sinceless.  
  
Michiru didn't know how to react, she was nervous. Afraid that someone she knew would walk in and see her. She pulled away from Haruka, completely in shock. She didn't even realize that her hands were resting on Haruka's hips, and the fact that she enjoyed it.  
  
Haruka hesitated, embarrassed over what she had just done. "I...I...made a new cut...several cuts actually." She hangs her head, allowing her gaze to drop to her left arm.  
  
She rolls up her sleeve, revealing 4 cuts, all on the inside of her wrist. They were deep, the blood scabs were almost black in color. Michiru was starting to get scared, her heart wanted to tell, but her mind told her not to. She was afraid that if she told, she would lose any forming relationship, or the current friendship. And that was the last thought in her mind, losing her best friend's trust.  
  
They split up as soon as they entered the cafateria. Michiru went to her friends, and Haruka to the few that she had. Haruka didn't really pay attention to it. She just figured she was with her friends. She didn't worry about it, until the bell rang to go to third period. Michiru wasn't in there. That's when Haruka started to worry. The first thing that popped into her head was that she had broken down and was crying. That she was in guidence crying over Haruka's cuts.  
  
It was only 15 minutes into the class period, and the teacher was about to start his lesson when a senior student aid came in. She walked over to the teacher and handed him a hall pass.  
  
He quickly glanced at it then walked to the back of the class and set the little piece of paper on Haruka's desk... 


	5. 

Deep Dark Secret  
Chapter 5 - Finally Talking  
  
Haruka picked up the pass her teacher laid on the desk. She glanced at it briefly, her eyes instintly picking up the signature of the teacher calling for her, she now knew exactly where Michiru was, and why she wasn't in class. She had been sitting in the guidance office...probably telling him everything about Haruka's cutting. Waiting for her to be called down just so she would have to tell someone, to show someone. But she wasn't ready yet. Nobody would ever understand the full anguish and torment she was going through. she hated the fact that she cut, but she didn't show it. She knew that she wanted to stop and that she needed help, but the thing was, she wasn't ready to get it yet.  
  
Upon entering the guidance office, she was attacked by Michiru's loving arms. It was obvious that this girl had been crying the past few minutes. Her eyes were red, as were her cheeks.  
  
"Are you Haruka Tenou?" This voice belonged to a tall, older man. He had a few grey streaks in his hair, indicating his age.   
  
Haruka simply nodded before following him into his office. He closed the door and sat down in his chair on the other side of the desk. He offered Michiru another tissue before continueing.   
  
"Is there something that you'd like to tell me, Haruka?" he started out slowly, his voise was a little shakey. Michiru had already warned him about her firey temper and that she may not want to talk, or that she may try to deny everything.  
  
She hesitates, she doesn't want to tell anyone. She had prepared for this day though, she knew that one day, Michiru or someone else would see her as she moved the wrong way, or as she was actually making a cut. She hadn't planned on how she'd lie, but she had to make up something, and fast, who knows how much Michiru had already told him.  
  
"It's ok Haruka." Michiru places a hand on hers, gently, afraid that she would be pissed and pull away, but much to her surprise she didn't. she had actually gripped it tighter, showing her that she was ready to talk, not necessarily tell everything, but tell enough.  
  
"Michiru's worried about you Haruka. why exactly would she be worried about you, about your safety?" He started leading her in the direction that he wanted her to go in. He figured that it would be safer for her to tell him, rather then for him to tell her what Michiru had said.  
  
Slowly, she pulled her left hand away from Michiru's and rolled up her sleeve, about half way, revealing a few of her older scars to him, he simply shook his head at her. She felt tears sting the back of her eyes, she didn't want to cry, not in front of the counselor, especially not in front of Michiru. She tried to fight them, but it got to hard, she finally lost the battle and let them fall.  
  
Michiru pulled her taller friend into her arms and hugged her tightly.   
  
"Now Haruka, you know that it's my job to report any form of suicide attempts to the board of education, and then call your parents."   
  
"NO!" she stepped in, cutting him off abruptly after 'parents.' "You can't tell my father. Tell anyone but him. You surely wouldn't have to worry about me killing myself, he'd do it for me. He's always hated me, ever since I was younger, that's why I am now."   
  
"Since you don't want me to contact your father, there is one way to get away from my telling him." he fumbled through some papers, finding a form for her to fill out. He pulled the paper out of his file and set it down in front of Haruka and offered her a pen for her to sign it. "The only way for you to get out of me telling your parents is for you to... 


	6. 

Deep Dark Secret  
Chapter 6 - Solution  
  
"The only way for you to get out of me telling your father is to not have any new cuts on Monday." He looks at Michiru, but continues talking to Haruka. "Are you and Miss Kaiou really close?"  
  
Haruka nodded and takes Michiru's hand, just as tightly as before. Searching for any reassurance that she would be fine, and that nothing would happen to her.  
  
"If you're really close to Michiru, I'm going to have her check over your body, and count the number of cuts that you've got. I'll leave you both alone in here, come and get me when you're ready." he stands and closes the curtain behind him and leaves the room.  
  
Haruka broke down and cried, it was the first time she had cried in years. Her smaller female friend took her into her arms, comforting her. "I'm sorry. But Haruka, honey, I had to tell someone. I hope you're not mad at me." She looked into the blondes eyes, searching for a responce, praying that she wouldn't be angry.  
  
Haruka gave no responce to her and started unbuttoning her jacket, and then her shirt under it. Under the shirt Haruka had binding on her chest, to better disguise herself from most people. She slowly undid the binding, allowing Michiru time to count all the cuts and scars on her chest, shoulders, arms and stomach. After the binding was off, Michiru continued counting the number of cuts around her breasts and she moved to her back, where there were only a few up by her shoulders. Haruka took off her shoes and her pants, showing both her strong legs, both being covered in small nicks and old scars. Michiru reached the last cut. There was a final total of 65. She turned around, allowing Haruka to have some privacy while she redressed.   
  
They shared a quick hug before opening the door to find the counselor. After he was called back in, Michiru gives him the total number of cuts.  
  
"I counted 65." she said while holding Haruka's hand.  
  
The older man continued with his explination. "Come Monday, I will have Michiru count the number of cuts and scars again, if the total number is bigger, I will have to tell your parents and then report this to the board of education. I'm trusting you not to do anything stupid over the weekend. Try to get out, go visit your friends go to the movies, do something to get your mind off of this. ok?" he makes the statement, hoping he's getting through to this troubled young woman.  
  
"I understand." Haruka checks her watch and sees that they only have an hour left in school. He makes a suggestion to the counselor "May Michiru and I stay up here the rest of the day, I don't think I'll be able to stand sitting in class for an hour."  
  
"Sure, both of you can stay in the conference room until the bell rings at the end of the day. Just come with me." he stood and walked out of his office and down a short hallway, leading them to the larger room, with comfortable office chairs in it.  
  
"Thank you." Michiru says and closes the door. "Oh Haruka, I'm so sorry." she hugged her friend.  
  
Michiru tried to stay strong and not cry, but she couldn't help it, and she let her tears come again "Don't worry about it love, you did the right thing, and I thank you for that."  
  
They sat in there talking about old times, and flirting madly for the next hour, when the ending bell rang, Haruka offered Michiru a ride home, and she gladly excepted...  
  
  
When they pulled up in from of Michiru's home, they shared a quick kiss. "Promise me you won't do anything stupid, I don't want anything to happen to you, I care too much about you to risk losing you."  
  
"I can't make any promises Michiru, and you know that." and with that Haruka put her car in gear and sped away. Leaving Michiru to think and wonder all that weekend 


	7. 

Deep Dark Secret  
Chapter 7 - The Call  
  
All that weekend Michiru was worried. She was completely unable to get a hold of Haruka. Everytime she had called, there was either no answer, or she was told that Haruka didn't feel well and was sleeping. Either way, it was bothering her a lot, knowing that her friend was avoiding her at any cost. That's when Michiru remembered that Haruka had never made the promise to her, about not hurting herself, she thought the worst, and had herself worried all night, that weekend.  
  
Late Sunday night, early Monday morning, Michiru laid in her bed, unable to sleep. She was too worried about her love. 1 A.M. the phone in Michiru's bedroom rang, she answered it, praying that it wasn't the hospital telling her that Haruka was injuried, or worse...that she was dead.  
  
"Hello?" her voice was soft, and worried.  
  
"Mi...Michiru...ca...can I...come over?" It was Haruka, her voice seemed a little weak.   
  
She looked over at her clock, and yawned slightly, trying to act like she had been woken up from a deep slumber. "But, Haruka, it's 1 a.m. Aren't you going to sleep?"  
  
What she heard next scared her, Haruka screamed and she heard a click. She stayed on the line for a few minutes, hoping that she would come back to the phone. When she heard nothing, she hung up and cried herself to sleep, she hadn't known what had happened, the only thing that she could do was pray that nothing went wrong...  
  
  
  
Monday morning came all too soon for a sleepy Michiru. She had kept herself up all night, thinking of all the reasons why Haruka would have screamed and why she would have hung up the phone in such a hurry.  
  
The only thing she could hope for was Haruka being there, and being sane. She walked down the street to her bus stop, nothing went wrong. She made it to school, thoughts running rampent, worry about Haruka was killing her. The thought that Haruka may have been pushed over the edge was also bugging her. Why would she of called at such an hour and ask to come over?  
  
That's when her bus pulled into the driveway of the school, and what she saw there nearly killed her... 


	8. 

Deep Dark Secret  
Chapter 8 - The Hospital  
  
The sight in the front of her school had her worried. She saw a white van with bars across the windows and three men standing around it, wearing white clothes. It appeared as if they were waiting for someone. Once her bus was close enough to read the side of the vehicle, she noticed it was from the local mental hospital.   
  
'Why would they be here?' Michiru thought to herself.  
  
Michiru stepped off her bus and spotted Haruka walking over from the student parking lot, so she decided to wait for her. Haruka looked horrible, her face was pale, her eyelids were heavy and a white bandage could barely be seen at the bottom of her jacket sleeve. It was obvious that she had cut again, or she had been cut. Either way, her appearance gave Michiru the impression that a lot of blood was lost.  
  
"Good morning." Michiru stated, eying the bandage on Haruka's arm, but thought better of asking about it.  
  
Haruka said nothing in responce to a greeting, but she did speak. "I'm sorry I called you so late." her eyes never left the ground. "And I'm sorry I hung up on you. My dad came into the room and he startled me and I didn't wanna get in trouble so I just hung up the phone. And I didn't have a chance to call back because my father was lecturing me all night long about some dumb shit."  
  
The men who were hanging around the van spotted the two women walking in toward the school. They pointed in their direction, and something was said between them. Then the three men were walking toward Haruka and Michiru.  
  
"Why did you scream?" she asked, curiously, her eyes never leaving Haruka's arm.  
  
"When my dad came in, I thought he was going to beat me again. That's why I called you so late, he had been beating me all day. And I just couldn't take it anymore. That's why I screamed the way I did then hung the phone up right away, I'm sorry." she continued starring at the ground. She looked at the smaller woman, showing her the bruise that lay on her cheek bone, right below her eye. "That's where he hit me."  
  
"Miss Haruka Tenou?" an average height, middle-aged man stepped up to them, holding a straight jacket in his hands. "If you come with us quietly, there will be no need for this." His eyes wondered over the much taller, probably much stronger women, hoping she woulk come without resisting.  
  
Haruka looked from the men to her love. "Michiru...my dad found the cuts on my arms, he's probably the one that called these guys." there was a pause before anything else happened. "Please forgive me." she leaned in and kissed the smaller women, grabbing a few glances of students in the process...  
  
  
  
The people who had seen them kiss were the people that picked on Haruka the most. The homophobic people. As soon as they realized who it was that Haruka was kissing, they already started planning a way to attack Michiru.  
  
She had been a nervous wreck all day. Everytime she heard gossip of Haruka, she had to leave the room crying. It was eating her up inside, knowing that Haruka's father would do something like that. Every time Michiru had seen him, he seemed like the perfect, loving father, who would never beat his child. But it was just a mask of the real man, the man who beat and tortured his child. The man who caused his daughter to turn suicidal, and the man that lost his own daughter's trust.  
  
It was right before lunch when the plan against Michiru went into action. One of Michiru's 'friend's' had been in on it, she told her that they had to talk about something and lead her to a secluded part of the school.   
  
When they entered a back hallway, she was pulled into a janitor's closet where she was beaten sinceless. There were 4 or them, and they all took their own turn beating her, kicking her, hitting her, anyway they could think of, using anything they could find to hurt her. When they finally left her alone, her arm was broken, her head busted open, lip busted open, a few ribs were brokem. She was left bloody, bruised, and unconscious on the ground where nobody would find her... 


	9. 

Deep Dark Secret  
Chapter 9 - Michiru's Injuries  
  
Michiru woke up, what seemed to be, several hours later. The room that she was in was white and silent.   
  
'Am I dead?' her mind asked her several times.  
  
She felt weak from the amount of blood she had lost, and the pain in her body, but didn't feel anything from her left arm, or her chest. She panicked as she started to come to, there was a plastic mask covering her nose and mouth. She thought that she had been paralyzed, in her chest and arm. She hadn't realized that she was alive and that she was given a pain killer to numb her chest and left arm.  
  
"Michiru? Can you tell me what happened? Do you remember anything?" a doctor stood to her right side, holding a clipboard in his hand. He was reading over her chart and started taking notes on a legal pad.  
  
She groaned in discomfort as she completely came to. She explained all that she remembered about what happened to her. She told about the kiss, about her homosexuality. She told him how her friend told her that they had to talk and how she lead her to an unused part of the school. Michiru gave the names of the four people that attacked her. She explained all the pain she felt and rememeber up until she feel unconscious.  
  
"You have a broken left arm, three broken ribs, and five stitches in your head. You were a wreck when the janitor found you. It's amazing you're still alive." He flipped through a few papers, finding the reason she was there and telling her the extent of her injuries.  
  
She looked away from the doctor, knowing all he said was true. The numbness in her arm and chest had started to wear off and she started to feel pain in them both. "When can I leave?" She hated hospitals, they were too white and quiet for her liking. She wanted to see Haruka and talk to her and make sure that she was alright.  
  
"You seem healthy enough, so I can release you to your parents after they sign some release papers. But for your own benefit, you're going to be out of school for at least the next week." the doctor had her parents sign a few forms, then she was allowed to leave...  
  
  
  
"Who are you here to see?" the receptionish had a strong english accent, and seemed to be very polite.  
  
"Haruka Tenou." she tried to hide emotion for her lover, as well as her busted lip and forehead. The tone in her voice gave away the pain and anguish that she was feeling deep inside.  
  
"And your relation?" it was almost impossible for her to understand, but Michiru gave  
  
"Her girlfriend." she said without hesitation, she was comfortable about her sexuality and didn't care what anyone else thought about it.  
  
That comment drew suspiscious glances and random comments from people all around. NObody thought that suicidal girl that had been brought in earlier that day could have anyone to love, especially another girl.  
  
"Go down that hallway there, go to the left at the end, and go in the third door to the right. It's marked 'Visitor's Room 3.' They will bring her in shortly."  
  
Michiru told explained to her parents that she wanted to talk to Haruka herself, and explain everything that's going on with her. She left her parents in the waiting room and painfully walked back the side hallway, following the directions she was given. She entered the room and sat at the table. And waited for any sign of Haruka. She only hoped that Haruka hadn't had a nervous breakdown yet. She knew that she was on edge, and the bit her father just pulled on her could have pushed her even further beyond any form of mental help.  
  
She waited for about five minutes before the door opened and Haruka walked in. Her face was pale and it looked as if she had been crying. It was obvious that she was aching, inside and out. Her wrist had a fresh bandage on it, and a few of her deeper cuts had visible stitches on them.   
  
She was no longer wearing her school uniform, she had on the clothes that she had been given to change into. Now, she wore a short sleeve white shirt, a pair of grey sweat pants and regular tennis shoes.  
  
Unknowing of how Haruka would react, Michiru continued starring at the floor until Haruka's voice was heard, questioning her appearance. Michiru's gaze rose from the floor to meet that of the one she loved, her eyes were stinging with tears, but the only pain that she seemed to feel was the growing pain in her heart. She didn't know how to explain to Haruka that she had been beaten up just because she was a lesbian, and to add to that fact, the 'tomboy' Haruka was her girlfriend.  
  
Haruka's face went from pale to white at the sight of what happened to Michiru. She questioned her with a blank expression on her face. "Michiru!?" 


	10. 

Deep Dark Secret  
Chapter 10 - Visiting Haruka  
  
"Oh my god! Michiru, what happened to you?" Haruka rushed to her side, unexpectantly putting her hands on her broken ribs. She uickly removed when she saw signs of discomfort on Michiru's face.  
  
She only flinched, she didn't want Haruka to know the full extent of her damage. She explained what happened with the group of people and how her arm was broken. She told Haruka that her ribs were bruised, but not broken. She didn't want her to worry too much, she already had a lot on her mind at the time. Haruka had to get through her own problems before anymore were added into her head.  
  
"This is all my fault. If I hadn't have kissed you in front of everyone, this wouldn't have happened to you. It's all my fault. I'm so sorry." the anger toward herself was building. She blamed herself for everything that was happening to Michiru, she hated the fact that she was draging Michiru into her life. Into all the pain and suffering that she was going through. But in the same token, she needed someone to be with her through everything, and Michiru was that person. The only person that she trusted with all her secrets.  
  
"No, don't worry about it. My mom's going to register me to start attending Mugen Gakuen High School. If that doesn't work, then I will start home school. I don't want that. It's bad enough I'll have to be away from you. For however long you're in here. I promise that I'll visit you everday." she ran her fingers through the blonde hair of her love and gently kissed her cheek.  
  
"I can't go back home. My dad will beat me more. I want to move out." Haruka felt tears build up in her eyes. She didn't cry very often, so Michiru could tell that she had her heart set on getting out of that house in any way that she could...  
  
  
"Who are you here to see?" the receptionist asked the older, taller man that stood before her.  
  
"Haruka Tenou." his voice was cold and harsh.   
  
She looked at him for a minute then checked the computer and found that Haruka was still with someone.  
  
'This girl must be popular or something.' She thought in her head, then said out loud, "She's meeting with someone right now. You can go back in a few minutes after her meeting is done." She tried to be nice with him, but hie temper only got worse.  
  
"I said I want to see my daughter, I don't care who she's meeting with, where is she at?" He leaned on the desk and got in the women's face, trying to intimidate her to the best of his ability.  
  
The lady huffed and gave him directions to the meeting room. She felt bad about it though, becuase Haruka was already meeting with the one that she loved, and according to what she had heard, this man that stood before her was Haruka's main problem for her cutting.  
  
He walked back through the hallway and barged into the room and tackled Haruka to the ground...... 


	11. 

Deep Dark Secret  
Chapter 11 - Her Story  
  
Haruka's father had her pinned to the tile floor and had already hit her twice. There her been two male employess in the room with the two women, they grabbed the man and had pulled the man off of Haruka. Once he was forced against the wall, he was held there until he calmed down.  
  
"Now sir, we'll have to ask you to leave, if you don't listen we'll be forced to call the authorities."   
  
He decided it was better to just wait until Haruka had to come home before he got his revenge for blaming all of her problems on him by yelling at her and beating her more. Possibly even raped her, agian...  
  
  
"He actually did that to you? When? How many times? How old were you?" Michiru had asked her distraught girlfriend, after she had just found out the reason Haruka was a lesbian is because her father beat and raped her several times. Haruka found no trust in men and hadn't even bothered with a male relationship since her father first did that too her. "We've grown up together, how come you didn't trust me enough to come and tell me this before?" Michiru started growing anxious for the answers to her many questions.  
  
"The first time he...touched me, was when I was 10. He touched me in my crotch, even after I told him to get away, her still did it." She paused to hold back tears, this was obviously a hard topic for her to explain, but she thought it best that she let it out. "He continuely did that to me for a few months, then he taped my mouth shut while I was sleeping once. I was 11." tears were now flowing down her face. "He raped me that night, I still can remember how bad it hurt, and how dirty it made me feel. He didn't understand why I didn't want him to do it after that, it was an almost every night thing for the next year. It even got out to the school that I was a slut, not like anyone actually knew what one was. But it got out about my sleeping with my father, that is what everyone understood."   
  
"Why didn't you tell anyone about it? As I just reminded you, we've been friends forever Haruka, how come you didn't come to me about it. I could have told my parents and we all could have gotten you out of that situation. You know my mom and dad think of you as a second daughter and they love you to death." Michiru's voice was shakey, she was trying to hold back her own tears.   
  
"I was afraid to. I didn't know how to, I was afraid I'd end up getting in trouble for some odd reason. I was only 11, I didn't know any better about what rape was and what was so wrong about it. After the school called the house and talked to my dad, and said if I ever looked sickly or tired again, that they would call social services. So he stopped for about a year, that's when we moved here. I was almost 13, and I knew what rape was and why it was so bad. He did it again, one day after I came home from school, he said it was my punishment for failing a test. He told me that if I told anyone he'd kill me. He showed me that he wasn't lying either, he held a knife to my throat until I agreed to keep everything quiet. That's why I'm the way I am, I don't trust men at all, I know that not all of them are like my father, but I don't want to bother with it." At this point in time Haruka's time was up, and she was escorted out of the room by a nurse after giving her goodbye hug and kiss to Michiru.  
  
Michiru walked out of the meeting room and back out to the waiting room, crying. After Haruka left the room she finally allowed herself to break down and cry.  
  
She wiped away her tears as she was greeted by her parents, who were searching for a status report on how Haruka was doing.  
  
They were relieved when they heard she was doing fine. But they were upset and wanted to do anything that they could to help Haruka get away from her father. Especially after what Michiru had informed them about, about Haruka being raped and how she didn't trust guys in relationships because of her father mentally and physically tormenting and abusing her all through her life. 


	12. 

This is a new chapter, I thought that since I skipped all of what happened to Haruka in the hospital last time, I thought I'd make a new chapter and explain some of what happened...know what I mean? Ok, just go ahead and read it.  
  
Deep Dark Secret  
Chapter 12 Mental Health  
  
  
The second day of Haruka's treatment was the first day that she was close to a fight. She wasn't exactly getting along with the people in the hospital. They all had their own personal problems, and she understood that, but they didn't have to get angry and upset at her all the time. Some of the people were suicidal like Haruka, some of them were abused by fellow family members, and some of them were just plain weird, in Haruka's eyes.  
  
'I've got to get out of here.' She continued to think to herself, all week long. She had spent a lot of her time in her room writing letters and writing in the journal that she had started while she was in there.  
  
She did develope a close relationship with two of the nurses who were in there. And those two females were the only two people that Haruka would talk to. She refused to talk to the counselors or her doctor, she would only talk to Ryo or Makoto...  
  
  
The day before Haruka was to be discharged, she got into a verbal arguement with one of the patients and was placed in solitary confinement. The entire time she was in there, Makoto had snuck in to keep her company and to talk to her.  
  
"Why did you get into a fight with that guy?" Makoto started out by asking a semi-simple question.  
  
Haruka looked at her, then at the small window that light the room. "He was making fun of my homosexuality. I have a short temper, and in most cases I can control it, but some things get to me more easily then others...know what I mean?"  
  
Makoto only nodded and sat down on the floor, facing Haruka to listen to her story, and try to help in anyway that she could. "You have to remember that some of the people in here can't control some of the things that they say. You've got to look past it all."  
  
"But still, I don't have a lot of patience to put up with jerks like that. As I've said, I've got a bad temper, but some things cause me to blow, and making fun of my sexuality causes me to snap like I did. Let's just say, he's lucky I didn't get my hands around his neck. Because if I did, you'd be taking him out in a body bag and putting me in handcuffs." The anger was growing in her tone. She tried her best to stay calm, she knew if she didn't that she wouldn't be released the next day. And if she didn't stay calm, she may lose her friendship with Makoto.  
  
Makoto looked at her watch and realized that she had to leave before she got in trouble for being in there. She said her goodbyes and left the room quickly, leaving Haruka in there, alone for the next 12 hours... 


	13. 

Deep Dark Secret  
Chapter 13 - Her new life  
  
  
The rest of that week, Michiru visited Haruka everyday, bringing her a single white rose each visit. The week seemed to take forever for Haruka, she knew two things, that she didn't want to go home to her father, and that she wanted to be with Michiru, no matter what...  
  
  
Then the news came, the day that Haruka was let out of solitary confinement and the same day she was to be discharged, she didn't have to go home to her father. She was given permission, by her father and Michiru's parents to go and live with Michiru, rather then her father. She was rather happy at this new development. She would also be attending Mugen High School with Michiru, which made her beam with more happiness. She knew that she would have a chance to spend more time with Michiru, and see her more often then if she wasn't going to the same school  
  
Haruka wasn't a really liked person while she was at the hospital, she made quite a few enemies with her negative attitude and firey temper. She had a better relationship with 2 of the nurses then with the patients. She had been put in solitary confinement the day before she was to be released, due to almost getting into a fight. She knew that she would never do anything to put herself back in there again. Not if she could help it anyway...  
  
~Monday morning~  
  
"Michiru...Haruka...time for school, get up!" Mrs. Kaiou yelled from the hallway, waking up both the girls. It was 7 in the morning, but she figured that gave them an hour and a half to get up, get their showers, and eat breakfast.  
  
Haruka groaned and opened her eyes, remembering that she forgot to close the curtains the night before. The sun shone through the window and right into her open eyes. She mumbled a few curses before heading to the bathroom. Upon stretching she walked out of her room, which was across the hall from Michiru.   
  
She wasn't looking up and bumped right into her, and knocked her off balance.  
  
"Ouch." her head banged lightly against the door, then she smacked Haruka. "Good morning to you too love."  
  
She only chuckled and kissed her good morning, then slid into the bathroom before she could be smacked again...  
  
  
"What do you girls want for breakfast?"   
  
"Eggs for me." Michiru responded from the bathroom shower.   
  
"Nothing here, I'll be fine." Haruka was in her bedroom, putting on her uniform, and tying on her shoes.  
  
"Haruka, you know you've got to eat something. What do you want?" Mrs. Kaiou asked again.  
  
"No, I eat a big lunch, I'll be fine. I promise." she layed on her bed as her stomach growled, she was starving, but she didn't want Michiru or her new 'step mother' to know that she thought she was fat. Haruka found herself turning anorexic, but it was only long enough for her to lose a few pounds, she was a strong willed person, she could force herself to eat if she wanted to... 


	14. 

Deep Dark Secret  
Chapter 14 - Mugen  
  
Both Haruka and Michiru were given their schedules and given a tour around the school by a senior student. Luckily they had 3 of their 4 classes together. And they would be on the same lunch shift, due to being in the same grade, and having the same class that period.  
  
Haruka wasn't paying attention in her english class, she had too many things on her mind, first off, the fact that she was living with the love of her life. Then the fact that she was starving herself to lose a few pounds and try out for the track team.   
  
She wrote several notes, all to Michiru, about how she was starving herself and about how she was getting back down.   
  
"Miss Tenou, bring that here now." her male teacher caught her writing a note.  
  
Haruka took the letter up to the teacher, hanging her head the entire way. She knew the teacher's rule on letters and how he would read them to the class.  
  
"Well, well, well, what do we have here. A love letter to Michiru." he said and the class laughed, both Michiru and Haruka felt the color rise in their faces. He started reading the letter.  
  
Dear Michiru,  
  
Hey babe, what's up your way? I'm feeling sick. I think it's from not eating anything this morning, nor for the past 2 days. I'm starving myself to lose a few pounds for track season.   
  
I'm over all my cutting thing, all of my previous cuts are completely healed, except there are several scars now. I'm really sorry about scaring you.  
  
Don't worry.....  
  
That was all the letter had said, the entire class was laughing, and Haruka stormed out of the room, she felt the urge to throw up...  
  
*+*+*+*+*+*+  
  
That's it for this time, please keep reviewing, and send me ideas if you've got them. 


	15. 

Deep Dark Secret  
Chapter 15 - Suicide?  
  
She slumped down against the bathroom door in one of the stalls, crying and holding her stomach. It was happening to her again. She was getting picked on, and it was only her first day in this new private school.  
  
This time Michiru has been drug into it. If her teacher hadn't of been an ass-hole, if he had left out the name she would be fine. She didn't want the same thing to happen to Michiru as what happened before.  
  
"Haruka!?" came a voice at the main door.  
  
She stayed quiet, maybe that person would leave her alone if she didn't say anything.  
  
"Baby, I know you're in here. I was you run in here. Don't get upset. I don't know why they were laughing, but they stopped and felt bad after you ran out." It was Michiru, she was standing right outside the stall.  
  
Haruka was put down, by the laughing of the class. She couldn't take harrassment. That's what pushed her over the edge last time, and that's what's doing it again.  
  
She always carried around a spare blade. It was small, and could easily be hidden anywhere she wanted to put it. She picked at the seems in her jacket and pulled out a little half inch razor blade.  
  
It had been a long time since she had used it. And she was ready to use it again. She rolled up her left sleeve and put the collar of her jacket in her mouth, to keep from yelling in pain.  
  
Slowly she lowered the blade to her skin, she applied minimal pressure and drug the blade across her skin. It produced a thin red line.  
  
"Not hard enough." she thought.  
  
She drug the blade across her wrist again, tracing over the same cut, applying full pressure. The pain shot through her body. Tears stung her eyes, but she didn't care, she kept cutting, deeper and deeper, drawing more and more blood.  
  
Michiru screamed as she heard the thud of Haruka's head against the door as she passed out. She then saw the blood running like a river from her open wounds... 


	16. 

Deep Dark Secret  
Chapter 16 - New Problem  
  
Michiru's scream drew a crowd of close by teachers to the bathroom. She had pulled Haruka out into the open and was applying pressure to her wounds. She was being strong and not crying, either that or she was completely in shock.  
  
"What happened?" a female teacher stooped on the other side of Haruka and looked at the wounds on her wrist.  
  
Michiru took a deep breath before explaining "She's having problems with depression. And today, she had a letter taken from her and read to the class. The class laughed and she ran out. I followed her in here and she slit her wrist." she felt tears slide down her cheeks as she took the blade out of Haruka's hand without the teacher noticing.  
  
The teacher left the two alone for a second to get someone to call an ambulance, when she returned, Michiru had a slice across her own neck, and the blade was covered in blood in her hand. She had fallen unconscious, as had Haruka. Blood puring from her neck, and from Haruka's wrist...  
  
A few hours later, Haruka stired and looked around. She recognized this place all to well. She had been in a hospital several times in the past, whether it be from her father beating her, and then lying by saying she feel. Or when she actually cut too deep and took herself there. She looked to the smaller women laying on the bed next to her.  
  
There was a breathing tube taped to her nose, a heavy bandage on her throat, IV in her right arm, and a blood bag attached to her left arm. Once Haruka's eyes focused, she focused on her love. It was Michiru laying on that bed.   
  
Several fluent curses left her lips, as her temper began to rise within herself, she should have just stayed calm, and had not slit her wrist. Now, because of her stupidness, her love may die. She looked so weak, so helpless, as she always had. Michiru was Haruka's delicate flower, broken with words, emotions, feelings. Haruka's feelings had made their way and had taken their impact on Michiru, causing her to follow her lead, causing her to go over the edge.  
  
She could only hope that she would be fine...  
  
Then it happened, Michiru's heart monitor flat lined...... 


	17. 

Deep Dark Secret  
Chapter 17 - Promises  
  
Haruka couldn't watch as doctors came in to the room to try and revive her. She heard the shock of the paddles and a short term beep, then flat line. This went on for several minutes.  
  
That's when Haruka looked over at her and whispered that she loved her. They did one more shock with the paddles. She had a nice steady heart beat again.  
  
She sighed and laid back on her bed, relaxing...  
  
  
When Michiru had slit her throat, she minorly slit her esophagus. She went through several surgeries before she could orally consume food.  
  
Haruka had been fine, after having her stitches removed, she was held in the psych ward of the hospital before she was seen medically fit to return to school.  
  
Since they were in two different rooms, on two different floors, there were allowed to visit each other for meals. This was their alone time, they loved it.  
  
One day, before Haruka went to visit Michiru, she went down to the gift shop to purchase something special. When she got off the elevator on the fourth floor, she held the gift behind her back as she entered Michiru's room.  
  
"Good morning." she kissed her gently before sitting on the bed facing her.  
  
Michiru smiled, her lips tingling from their brief kiss. She tried to see what was behind her back. Upon giving up, she pouted, which only drew a chuckle from Haruka.  
  
"Do you wanna know what I've got?" Michiru nodded and Haruka continued. "We've been together a month to this day. It's been the best month of my life. I've heard that relationships based on extreme circumstances often never l ast. Well, we've both been to hell and back. And we're still together." she presented Michiru with a small, white, stuffed puppy with a separate jewerly box tied to it's back.  
  
Her blue eyes lit up as she opened the bow and a diamond, set in shite gold, ring was in there. It was a promise ring, as Haruka explained to her. She threw herself into her arms and gladly accepted the ring... 


	18. 

Deep Dark Secret  
Chapter 18 - Graduation and After  
  
A lot of time has passed, both Haruka and Michiru's Junior and Senior years had gone almost perfectly. They were accepted as they were, being a couple. The people who attended Mugen had figured that a relationship was a relationship, no matter if it was between a man and a women or a women and a women.  
  
It was two days before the graduation from Mugen, everyone was getting excited, yet they were all nervous at the same time. The Validictorian of the Senior class hadn't been named yet. People were taking bets that it would have either been Haruka or Michiru. They had always been in a steady compatition with their grades. Most people found it funny when they got into a 'fight' about one getting a higher grade then the other.  
  
Haruka's father had been found guilty of child abuse as well as rape and is serving a life sentence in the state penatentory. The only reason he was convicted is because Haruka was given the strength by all of her classmates that it was the right thing to do to testify against him. And she did. She described many times of rape to the court, as well as the abuse. she had been strong through the entire trial. When he was found guilty is when Haruka broke down and actually cried. She was so happy that she was free of him for the rest of her life.  
  
Haruka and Michiru, as well as Michiru's parents had been working on plans for their wedding. They were to be married a week after the graduation. Haruka had purposed to Michiru at their prom. Everybody who was around them at the time was happy for the couple and applauded them madly...  
  
  
Then the day came, the day of graduation, the day before, Michiru had been named Validictorian of the Senior class. The school heard many rumors of Haruka 'punishing' Michiru when they got home. They just brushed it off as nothing, and that it was none of their business.  
  
Michiru climbed up onto the stage to make her speech and accept the Validictorian award.   
  
"First off, I'd like the thank everyone for helping me through everything. My parents who were very supportive of me, when I told them about my girlfriend, and when I told them about her problems. She's very open about it now, Haruka figures that everything is in the past...where it belongs. Her and I have been through a lot in our lives, we grew up like sisters, spending all of our time together. When we were that age, who would have ever thought that we would be getting married." When she said that, she got a few yells from the audience. She smiled and continued "When we started to get older, I started having feelings for her, I was afraid to tell her, I was afraid of everything. Then she told me she liked me. I was afraid then too, because of what she was going through. I didn't want to hurt her more. She finally got some help, that's when we started to attend the fine school of Mugen. The school we're at now, and the school we're graduating from. She got laughed at on the first day, and she tried to kill herself." she ignored the tears sliding down her cheeks. she pointed the the faint scar on the side of her neck and explained it to the people. "This scar, on my neck, was from when I slashed my own throat. Trying to end my life, as Haruka had tried to do. But we were able to get through everything. And in the end, we're living happy, and we're living long. We both have no problems in our lives." she turned toward the group of Seniors, and found Haruka, she stared her straight in the eye and finished her speech. "Haruka...I love you. I'm happy to be spending the rest of my life with you. We've been to hell and back, but we're still here and that's all that matters." She put the microphone back on the stand and took her seat...  
  
  
"I do." she says  
  
"I do."  
  
"By the power invested in me, I now pronouce you to be married." the minister said to the two women in front of him.  
  
Haruka lifted up Michiru's veil and kissed her, long and passionately. They were finally married, and nothing could stop them from being happy.  
  
For now, and forever, Haruka and Michiru will be together. With nothing to bug them, and all the problems out of both their lives.  
  
~END~  
  
*+*+*+*+*+*+  
  
YAY!!! I'm finally done this thing...It's really really long...wow...I amaze myself sometimes I was gonna make this longer and add a new problem to Haruka, but I'll just save that for a later story, just give me your reviews and I'll be happy. I'll be along to write more at a later time, I'm working on 3 other things right now...bye bye 


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